Born To Run
by ImAubrey97
Summary: A/U. For small town girl Santana, passing finals is her only concern. But the sudden arrival of a quirky blonde cheerleader with a tight lipped past threatens to unbalance her careful, workaholic life. Secrets are revealed and relationships knocked out of kilter. Who'd have thought that one silly teenage friendship could do so much?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N**

**Rated M for language and smut**

**Thanks to DarthVader'sApprentice for helping me, this wouldn't be anything without you.**

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Santana told him. She told him so many times this was going to happen. Santana just _knew_ his car was slowly breaking down. She'd told her Papi countless times that his car was on the verge of breaking down, he replied with a hurried "I'll get it fixed when I can Mija". She knew that somehow this car was going to be a problem for her.

Santana didn't want to risk driving her car to school this morning because she forgot to fill up the tank, normally she's good at remembering things but she was glued to her study books all weekend. That's how Santana found herself asking her Papi, when he came back from his night shift at the hospital, if she could use his car so that she could get to school on time.

If he had gotten his air filter cleaned, his engine wouldn't be sounding like it was going to blow up. When she realised that she couldn't continue driving the deathly vehicle and pulled over she was even more frustrated to find that she hadn't even gotten that far. School was at least a 20 minute walk from here.

The thing was Santana wouldn't even be late, even if she did get there in 20 minutes time she would still arrive 5 minutes before the bell. She just liked being there a little early. There's nothing wrong with being punctual. She liked to get there before her 'peers' so that she didn't have to interact with them in any way, even if it is to ask them to move out her way.

Santana also liked to get settled in her seat, not that anyone would take her seat in the back of the room closest to the wall, but she still felt the need to rush to her seat because it was the one place in the room that offered her a sense of security.

Thinking about her seat gave Santana the motivation she needed. To get out of the car. Santana hastily grabbed her bag pack from the passenger seat then stepped onto the side walk, slamming the door behind her. She paused for a moment, contemplating leaving the doors unlocked, so pissed off that she doesn't care that it seems completely stupid, she dismisses the idea quickly though, she could never do that to her Papi.

She's still pissed though. She began walking to school and after 10 tortuous minutes she thought she was going to cry, puke, or pass out, or all three. She's not unfit, she just really hates anything that requires too much movement.

The sun beamed down on her, her hair was sticking uncomfortably to the back of her neck, she wouldn't have had her hair down if she knew she'd doing a marathon. Santana wouldn't be able to put it in a quick neat bun though, she doesn't have enough bobby pins, she may not be vain but she doesn't want to look scruffy.

For a split second Santana considered putting her hair into a ponytail, it would feel so good to feel the relief of the cool breeze on her hot sweaty neck. She forced herself to snap out of it, there was snowballs chance in hell she was going to put her hair up into a ponytail, the style that those cheerleaders have. Santana would rather feel the heat than do that.

She decided to just stop being a pussy and endure. The rest of the journey wasn't as difficult. When Santana walked into her school she felt the urge to run to class, she would've too if it wasn't for the amount of chimpanzees in her way.

As Santana made her way through the crowded hallway, she'd never been more happy that no one ever paid any attention to her. She easily navigated her way through the crowd. It wasn't like she got bullied, she just kept herself to herself and didn't stand out in her jeans, sneakers and t-shirt.

Santana got to class 5 minutes before the bell, she still felt out of her element because there are so many people already. She saw Mr. Helbig looking over some notes. She passed cheerleaders flirting with jocks, she thought she just saw a kid eat a piece of paper; she shook her head and carried on her journey to her seat.

Santana came in front of her desk and stopped abruptly. There was someone in her seat. Well technically not _in_ her seat, but next to her seat. A cheerleader. Santana blinked for a moment, then scrunched up her face. Great.

Santana, still fuming from walking to school in the heat and still frustrated because of not getting to school as early as she'd like, told the girl with a blank face "You're in my seat."

The blonde cheerleader who was focused on drawing a cartoon character (is that spongebob?) looked up at the sound of someone talking to her. At first Santana was taken back by her beautiful eyes but then she remembered where she was and focused on what was happening.

The girl smiled at her, "Oh sorry, I'm just new here and I wasn't sure if anyone was sitting here and I thought 'if anyone does sit here I would have to move' but then I didn't want to move too far so I asked that kid over there with the afro and hygiene problems if anyone sits here and he said no" She rambled as she moved over to the next seat.

Santana just looked at her for a moment trying to process what the girl has just said. She just moved over into her seat. Santana sighed, "You're in my seat." she repeated. The girl just looked confused now. Of course she wouldn't understand. The blonde looked around the room, seeing everywhere was full except for the seat next to that guy who looked high and/or homeless, and then focused back on Santana "You sit in two seats?" she asked, amused, "I don't think your ass is big enough to fit in both seats" she said teasingly.

Santana decided that she wasn't going to be sitting in her seat soon if she just glared at this girl, Santana's pretty sure the girl looked at her ass earlier, though she'd probably imagined it. "No, I sit there, in the corner" she said, gesturing to the seat that was occupied by the blonde.

"I'll sit here then" the cheerleader said, sliding back to the other seat, "Do you mind if I sit by you?" she asked Santana a little hesitantly.

Santana did mind. She was going to ask the girl why she wouldn't sit with her cheer-leading friends but she didn't want to open a door for conversation.

So Santana just shrugged whilst sitting down in her chair. She got out her English work book and a few additional notes she made and settled into her seat.

Mr. Helbig started the lesson. Santana took notes as the teacher talked, and forgot about the girl next to her until she was nudged. Santana paused and frowned at the girl. "Why are you writing so much?" the girl asked her. Santana was only half listening to her, aware that the teacher was still talking. Santana just hushed the girl and continued writing, but she wasn't as focused because she could see the girl looking at her from the corner of her eye.

When Mr. Helbig finished speaking his attention turned to the cheerleader, who's attention was on shading in in her cartoon character. Santana rolled her eyes. "Miss Pierce? Would you like to introduce yourself to the class?"

The cheerleader discreetly pushed her drawing underneath her work book (Santana hadn't even realise she had her book there) and looked hesitantly at the teacher. They seemed to be having a silent conversation for a moment, but when Mr. Helbig gives her an encouraging nod she slowly rose out of her seat and straightened her posture. The blonde cleared her throat and looked around the room for a moment before she began, "My name's Brittany. My family have just moved here from L.A, where I grew up. Uh, I'm a cheerio because I enjoy gymnastics and dancing." Brittany smiled thinly and then sat back in her seat.

Santana saw the girl - Brittany - shift uncomfortably from the corner of her eye. She seemed to relax when the class turned back around. They must have been expecting her to say a bit more about herself, Santana was too, Brittany hadn't said much about herself at all. Santana wondered if Brittany had trouble speaking in front of large groups, Brittany didn't seem nervous talking about her ass earlier and what was with that look with the teacher?

Damn it, she really needed to focus. Santana quickly turned back to the task Mr. Helbig was setting, determined not to let anything else distract her. Although she wasn't talking to the cheerleader beside her, her presence was distracting, and it frustrated Santana so much.

She was there to work. So, for the rest of the period that was what she did. She ignored everything around her and easily immersed herself in her work.

When the bell went off, signalling the end of the period, Santana lingered by her seat, putting her notes and book away in her backpack. She waited for everyone else to clear out before walking towards the door. Just as she was about to go through the door, however, she heard the teacher call "Santana?" she paused and turned around.

She raised her eyebrows questioningly. "Thank you for letting Brittany sit next to you. She seems comfortable sitting next to you, she really needs that" he stopped there. It seemed like he wanted to say more but had already felt like he'd said too much.

What the hell was that supposed to mean? Santana stood there waiting for him to explain but he just smiled at her, "See you next period" he said, and went back to looking through his notes.

Santana left the room confused and started walking to next period's class, Mr. Helbig's words echoing in her mind.

Comfortable? Why does this cheerleader need to be comfortable? He said the girl seemed comfortable sitting by Santana, it makes no sense.

"Santana did you leave the house at all this weekend?" a voice nagged from her right. Santana jumped with a small yelp, too lost in her own thoughts to notice her friend had joined her. Santana slapped a hand to her chest and tried to catch her breath, "Fuck Rachel, I've told you to stop doing that. You're going to give me a heart attack one of these days"

Rachel rolled her eyes "Stop being so dramatic"

Santana scoffs, Rachel ignores her "Anyway, I asked you if you left your house at all this weekend? You were invited to come to the movies with me and Kurt"

"I don't see why you're making a big deal out of this, nothing was set in stone and you knew it was unlikely I'd show up. Calm down" Santana sighed. She was tired of having this conversation, her social habits were increasingly becoming a main topic of conversation with Rachel "Besides, we're seniors now. This is the time where we work our hardest. There's no time to leave studying to just sit in a stuffy dark room, full of strangers and watch actors speak to each other whilst being filmed _and_ I'm not eager to be near you when you start sobbing and inhaling junk food."

A reply was on the tip of Rachel's tongue when a taunting, nasal voice behind them spoke "Where are you going stubbles?"

Santana rolled her eyes. This was really starting to get old now. Rachel and Santana stopped walking and waited for the girl to stand in front of them. Santana notices that Quinn wasn't alone, which wasn't anything new, but her eyes widened when she recognised her companion as Brittany.

But Brittany didn't look bitchy like the cheerleaders normally looked when Quinn decided to pick on Rachel. She even smiled at Santana. Santana quickly averted her eyes and focused on Quinn who has said something to Rachel that she didn't quite catch but she thought it was safe to assume it wasn't something pleasant.

She knew that Rachel could handle herself with Quinn so she wasn't too concerned about things getting too out of hand, but she was tired of hearing the same old shit from Quinn, it slowed her down when she was trying to get to class.

Santana watched impatiently as Quinn insulted Rachel, itching to get the next period. This day was not going the way she wanted it to. Brittany was watching them as well with a small smirk on her face, looking at Quinn like she'd just noticed something interesting about her.

When Quinn walked away with Brittany, Santana noticed Brittany whisper something in Quinn's ear, pulling back with a teasing smile on her face. Brittany glanced back at Rachel and looked at Quinn wagging her eyebrows. Quinn just laughed it off and pushed her away. Santana frowned and turned her attention to Rachel, who was looking at a piece of paper in her hand.

Santana looked at it and commented "At least she didn't draw you with a dick this time."

Rachel hummed in agreement and threw it in the trash when they walked past it. Santana knew the answer but it didn't stop her for wondering, "Why do you let her treat you like this Rache?"

Santana asked her friend gently, aware that was a sore and 'complicated' subject and because she was aware that they weren't alone.

"You know why Santana. I can see it in her eyes, she's just sad. The things she says to me don't bother me any more and she needs this. You know, like the chain of screaming"

"The chain of screaming?" Santana repeated, slowly.

"I'm glad you asked Santana, Quinn's dad's bosses boss screams at Quinn's dad's boss..."

Santana interrupted her, knowing by the end of Rachel's explanation her brain will have melted and it was slowing her down, "Okay, I get it. Actually I think I've heard that before, I'm sure it was on a show when we were at Kurt's a while back"

"Oh you remember? It's from an old episode of How I Met Your Mother. I don't know why Kurt forced us to watch it, something about Josh Radnor. I admit the show was funny at times but it's not my cup of tea. Oh! Did I tell you about the herbal tea that I've started drinking?"

Santana raised her hand to quiet Rachel before she could say anything else. Damn, the girl could talk a lot.

Rachel just smiled at her, understanding that sometimes Santana can't cope with too much conversation, especially when she was in a bad mood. They walked to class in comfortable silence and as soon as they entered the room Santana rushed to sit in the far corner of the room, Rachel not far behind her.

They settled into their seats and waited as the rest of the class entered. Mercedes walked in the room, not that Santana needed to see her to know that, because when Mercedes entered a room you knew she'd _entered_ the room, she just had that kind of bubbly presence.

Mercedes smiled at the pair and moved to sit at the desk in front of them. She greeted them "Hey, is this where all the cool kids at?"

"Hi Mercedes" Rachel beamed

Mercedes winked at Rachel and looked at Santana

"It's funny every time you say it 'cedes" Santana replied dryly.

Mercedes grinned at her and shrugged "I try"

Santana just mock glared at her until she turned to face the front.

You've got to be fucking kidding. This Brittany chick was all up in her face today. Well, all she's done this time was walk through the door but she was still instantly a huge distraction. Santana realised she was definitely going to fail this year if she kept on allowing herself to get sidetracked by this chick.

Mercedes caught her attention when she started to fucking wave to get Brittany to notice her. Santana swiftly kicked her chair "Wheezy, what the fuck are you doing?" she hissed.

Mercedes spun around and looked at her incredulously, "What does it look like I'm doing? I'm calling Brittany over to come and sit by me. What the fuck are _you_ doing?"

Santana opened and closed her mouth a few times before saying "I just thought you were raising your hand to the ask the teacher if you could go to the restroom, you know I hate it when people go during lesson, there's plenty of time to go throughout the day"

Santana knew that it may not have made sense because it had been obvious that Mercedes was waving, and the teacher was writing something on the board so waving at her back wouldn't have gotten the teacher to look her way. Santana felt Rachel looking at her from the corner of her eye, not believing her. Mercedes seemed to accept her answer though, and refocused on waving at Brittany. She called her over to sit by her when she had her attention.

Brittany practically skipped towards Mercedes desk. She caught Santana's eye and smiled at her before she sat in her seat. Santana, like she had earlier, just looked somewhere else. That somewhere else happened to be Rachel Berry and her inquisitive gaze.

It made Santana jump a little "Fuck Rachel! Stop being a creep. Don't sit there all quiet and just stare at me. Seriously, you've been spending too much time with Tina, you're turning into a ninja or some shit"

"That's racist Santana, and the Asian jokes are starting to get old"

Santana rolled her eyes "Whatever"

"Are you guys finished now?" Mercedes interrupted, not expecting an answer, "Good, because here's someone I'll like you to meet, guys this is Brittany, Brittany this is Rachel."

"Nice to meet you." Rachel smiled. Santana thought that Rachel must have not seen her earlier then.

Mercedes continued, "And this is Satan." Brittany giggled when Santana scowled at Mercedes for calling her that.

"We've met already Mercedes, we had first period together. I don't think I got your name though, you don't look like a Satan though." Brittany joked.

Mercedes and Rachel chuckled. "You won't be saying that once you get to know her." Rachel said to her.

Santana frowned because 1) She did not want this girl 'getting to know her' whatever that meant and 2) She wasn't _that_ bad.

Mercedes must have decided that was enough teasing her, "We're just messing. This is Santana, girl sure is dedicated to studying alright." She mumbled the last part, Brittany wasn't sure if she was supposed to hear it, but she had and it made her even more curious about the girl.

The teacher started the lesson and the two girls turned back around.

The rest of Santana's day was mediocre, and whenever her thoughts drifted to the blonde cheerleader she made herself work even more to get her mind off it.

Walking home wasn't as bad as she'd thought it would be, but then she started thinking about the car that morning and how her whole day would've been better if that had never happened and then she got annoyed. She spent most of her journey home cursing that fucking car.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N**

**Thank you to everyone who's followed/favorited/reviewed this story, it's really encouraging.**

**I'll be busy, I start college on Tuesday but I'll be updating as often as I can because I really enjoy writing this fic.**

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Santana stomped her way up her front yard, nearly knocking over her mother's gardening pots on her way to the front door. She stopped in front of the door and rummaged through her bag, hoping she'd remembered her keys. She sighed a breath of relief when she found them, glad that her already crappy day hadn't gotten any worse.

As soon as she entered her house she caught the smell of cookies and the sound of singing from the kitchen. She was torn. All she wanted to do was lock herself in her room to review her notes, do her homework, eat and then sleep. But those cookies smelt _so_ damn good and she hadn't had much to eat throughout the day.

Up the stairs or to the kitchen?

"Santana? Is that you?" a chirpy voice called from the kitchen. Santana had been so invested in what choice to make she hadn't even noticed that the singing had stopped.

"Yeah, it's me."

"Oh, well come into the kitchen! I baked you some goods." Santana rolled her eyes with a fond grin. She could practically hear the smile in his voice. She'd had such a stressful day, and his cookies were the best thing to have when she needed some cheering up.

She headed for the kitchen "I'm coming."

Santana entered the kitchen and saw him dancing to a pop song on the radio. The kitchen was littered with mess from the ingredients he's used. She sighed and wondered how long it was going to take to clean up - her mom wouldn't be happy with her if she didn't help clean the mess.

He turned around when he heard her sigh and smiled at her "High 5 kiddo."

Santana high fived him to humour him. His attempts at bonding with her were lame but appreciated nonetheless. "Didn't you work today Paul?" Santana asked before grabbing a cookie.

Paul gasped in mock offence and gestured around the kitchen "I have been working! It's hard work feeding that sweet tooth of yours you know!"

Santana just smiled at him in response, not wanting to spit any crumbs out by speaking.

Paul grinned at her and moved around the kitchen, collecting up the ingredient bags as he moved. Santana's eyes followed him, watching silently as he picked up the rubbish and threw it into the trash. She liked Paul, he's was nice guy; he was eccentric and yeah, sometimes she couldn't stand him but her mum was insanely happy with him and he randomly bakes when he feels like it. She could have a worse step-dad.

Santana finished her cookie and wondered if she could get out of cleaning. She could distract Paul by asking him about that turtle he's been nursing, but then she might not escape quickly enough.

Santana's thoughts were disturbed when she felt a dish cloth hit the side of her face.

She scowled and looked over to Paul. "All I need you to do is wipe down the surfaces and then you're free to go Matilda." he sighed.

Santana ignored him, wiped everything down, then sprinted up the stairs after quickly thanking Paul for the cookies.

Santana slammed the bedroom door behind her and vaguely heard Paul chastising her for the noise as she collapsed on her bed. All that work she'd done over the weekend at her dad's house was catching up to her. She didn't normally study _that_ much, but there wasn't much to do at her dad's place, and when he was at work (which is most of the time) the silence was deafening.

She groaned into her pillow, pushed herself off the bed and made her way to the bathroom to shower. Afterwards she felt a little more refreshed but still insanely tired.

As she was getting her homework out of her backpack a picture on her bedside table caught her eye, it was one of her and Rachel the day they went to the museum for a school trip last year. She smiled - she'd really wanted to kill Rachel that day for nearly getting them kicked out by spontaneously breaking out into song and nearly breaking a souvenir, but Santana had a nice time other than that.

She started to get that familiar hollow feeling in her chest, and snapped her attention back onto the work in her hand. She got her homework done easily, it was only Monday so she didn't have much to do.

Santana felt her stomach rumble and looked at the time. It was 6 already. She decided to see if dinner was ready instead of doing extra notes - she was pretty sure her brain would melt if she tried to do any more.

As she jumped down the last step she heard the front door open, "I'm home!"

"I can see." Santana replied dryly. Her mother looked at her and rolled her eyes.

"Something smells good." she said as she gave Santana a quick hug, "How was your weekend?"

"S'okay, managed to get a lot of studying in." Santana replied, walking down the hall with her mom.

Her mom stopped and frowned wearily at her "_All _weekend?" she sighed.

"Maria, is that you?" came a voice from the kitchen.

Santana rolled her eyes so hard she felt them hit the top of her head. Why did this family need to know who was in the house and shout whenever they entered the house? She'd have thought she would be used to it by now but it still irritated her for some reason.

Her mom seemed to forget what they were talking about as she went into the kitchen and greeted Paul with a kiss.

"Gross" Santana gagged.

Santana saw Paul stick out his tongue at her before he continued to dish out the dinner. Her mother turned to face Santana, "Please tell me you at least left the house once since Friday."

Santana sighed and ran her fingers through her hair, "Mom, I didn't have enough ti-"

Her mother held her hand up to interrupt her, "Just stop, I don't want to hear any excuses. Whenever you stay at your fathers you always come back looking like a zombie; you don't sleep enough, you don't eat enough, don't even leave the house!"

"That's not true! I went to the library to get some books for studying on Saturday." Santana retorted. A snarky comment was on the tip of her tongue, and she opened her mouth but the look her mom gave her made her close it again.

Man. If looks could kill.

"Hey." Paul intervened, "dinner's ready. I've set the table, let's get our eat on." he grinned at them and moved towards the table with two plates. Maria gave her daughter one last look before she went to the table, muttering under her breath.

Santana released a slow breath and closed her eyes. She could feel a familiar dull throb in her head, early signs of a migraine, and she felt her throat close up.

Why was she freaking out so much?

It was hardly the first time she's had disagreements with her mother about her studying habits and it probably won't be the last either. She needed to get a grip, or maybe just some sleep. Or maybe she could do a few notes after she's eaten to take her mind off these feelings.

"Earth to Santana!" she heard.

"Yeah?"

"You're such a space cadet. Whatever. Don't come crying to me when your food gets cold." Paul yelled.

Santana realised that she was still standing in the kitchen doorway, and followed Paul and her mom to the dining room. She saw her mother saying something to Paul quietly with a deep frown on her face. Santana felt the feeling intensify and desperately tried to mask her emotions.

Paul noticed her enter the room and smiled sympathetically at her. Santana gulped and felt her face heat up. Just as she was about to slide into her seat Paul smiled at her teasingly, "Orange you going to eat with us?" With each word his voice got a little higher. She hated and loved how hard he always tried.

Santana realised that she'd left her plate in the kitchen, quickly grabbed her food and rushed back to the table. She felt weird whenever her mom talked about her when she wasn't there. It makes her anxious.

She casually walked back into the room, trying to make it seem like she hasn't just run into the kitchen to get back as soon as possible, and sat in her chair. Her mom seemed a little calmer now. She shouldn't be surprised really - Paul always managed to put her at ease when she got stressed. Still, Santana could feel the tension as they all start eating.

Dinner was never eaten in silence with Paul. Santana found it so fascinating of how much he managed to talk about without choking on his food. Throughout dinner he went on about animals he was taking care of, random facts he'd learnt about animals from the discovery channel, and every now and then he'd try to engage Santana, but she was too wrapped up in her own thoughts to properly converse with him. Occasionally her mother would glance at her, and Santana had a feeling her mom hadn't finished with her yet. Once they'd finished eating they all sat in silence for a while before her mom seemed to deflate and broke the silence with a shaky voice, "Mija."

Santana's eyes snapped to her mom's. She'd never heard her mom sound so defeated before. She felt her stomach flip.

"I'm not..." Maria sighs. She stopped and looked like she was gathering her thoughts, "I don't say these things because I hate you and I want to start a fight with you Santana."

"No, I know that Mami." Santana replies timidly.

Her mom looked at her for a while, "You look like you've been overworking. I _know_ that look Santana. I saw it on your fathers face when you were born and he got his promotion. I know that look all too well. I'm worried."

Santana looked down at her empty plate, feeling really bad. She didn't want to worry her mom.

"I'm fine Ma." she tried to reassure her. Santana made eye contact, hoping her mother would believe her.

"Promise me you won't over work yourself Santana. Promise me you'll take more free time? Please?"

Santana hesitated for a while. The longer she took to answer the more impatient her mom got. "I promise I'll try Mami."

Her mother held her eyes for a few more seconds before closing her eyes and relaxing into her seat, "Thank you." she whispered.

Paul placed a comforting hand on Maria's thigh and squeezed reassuringly before he stood up to clear the table. Santana silently helped him and they both went to the kitchen to wash up, Leaving Maria sitting in the dining room.

Paul started washing up and Santana stood beside him, ready to dry. "So Rachel phoned Saturday..." he told her, glancing at her before scrubbing at a plate.

"Yeah?" Santana drawled, waiting for him to continue.

"Yeah. She said that she couldn't get through to you. I tried your cell, was it off all weekend?" He sounded weird. Paul always sounded weird to Santana when he spoke seriously.

"Mhmm, I don't like to have any distractions when I'm studying" she said. It wasn't a big deal.

Paul stopped scrubbing and turned to face her, "What if I needed to get through to you?"

Santana scrunched up her face, "For what?"

"What if something had happened?" Paul asked. Santana didn't think she'd ever seen Paul worried.

"Like what? Did something happen?"

"No but you shouldn't have kept your cell off all weekend. It makes us both worry when we can't get through to you." Paul told her, before going back to cleaning the dishes.

Santana finished drying up the dishes in silence, replaying the conversations she'd had with her mom and with Paul in her head. She felt her head throb and her eyes sting, and she tried to recall last time she had a good nights sleep. She didn't feel all that tired throughout the day, but it was catching up with her now.

"Santana? Are you going your room now?" her mom yelled through from where she was still sitting at the table.

"Uh, yeah I was about to go up to sleep. Why?" she yelled back. She could just walk into the same room that her mom was in so she wouldn't have to shout, but she'd done enough walking for one day.

"Oh. It's only 7:15 you're going to sleep this early?" Her mom questioned.

"Yeah. Why?" Santana repeated.

"It's a little early that's all."

Santana rolled her eyes, "No. I mean why'd you ask?" the yelling wasn't helping the pain in her head so she decided to just go the the dining room. "Did you need me to do something?" she asked when she walked into the room.

"Yes please. Do you mind taking out the trash for me?"

Santana grimaced. She'd do anything her mom asked of her but she hated taking out the trash. Gross.

"I'll take that as a no then." her mom chuckled lightly, "Okay then, could you make a quick trip to the store and get some milk? Or are you too tired? I thought you were just going to study. I'll go if you want to sleep."

"No, it's okay Mami, I don't mind. I'm not that tired" Maybe she was lying a little, but she felt guilty that she was working so much that she was too tired to help her mom out.

Her mom smiled weakly at her, "Thank you. Oh!" Maria jumped likes she'd just remembered something, "I didn't see your car in the driveway when I parked. Where is it?"

Santana sighed, remembering what had happened. She told her mom, "I forgot to fill up the tank". Her mom gave her a look that said _and whose fault is that? _but she ignored it and continued, "and I didn't want to drive to school in case I ran out of gas so I took Papi's car, but it was making a weird noise and I got scared so I decided to just walk to school. It was terrible. It was so fucking hot."

"Language Mija." her mom chastised, "So tomorrow before school you're going to your father's to get your car. I'll drop you off before I go to work, you'll have enough time to fill up the tank. For now," Maria threw her keys at Santana, who caught them awkwardly, "you can take my car to the store."

"Okay. Be back in 10." she kissed her mom on the cheek and walked past Paul who was still in the kitchen.

"You going to the store Matilda?" She heard him ask as she shrugged on her jacket.

She rolled her eyes at the nickname "Yeah." she replied.

"Do you need some money?"

"No, I've got a couple of bucks but thanks." she said as she opened the front door "See ya then."

"Bye." she heard before she shut the door behind her.

Santana walked briskly to her mom's car. The temperature had noticeably dropped since the afternoon. Fucking Ohio weather - one day there could be a storm and the next day no rain at all. You'd thought living there all her life Santana would be used to it, but the weather still pissed her off. She got into the car, put on the heating on and quickly warmed up her hands before starting the car and making her way to the store.

She drove a block before realising the car was silent. Santana hated it. She felt her ears ringing, and turned on the radio. Some pop song was playing and Santana grimaced. Sometimes she just couldn't understand how people liked listening to such trash.

Santana changed stations and heard another pop song. This one, at least, did not want to make her want to jump out the car, but she'd still deny ever listening to it.

It felt nice, just driving and not feeling like she had to rush back to study. She _really _must've overworked herself if she didn't feel the urge to work. Santana hummed and turned up the radio a bit louder. It's felt like forever since she's sat down and just listened to music. She'd gotten her cousin's car when she'd turned 16, and somehow her cousin had managed to break the radio completely. Now that Santana thought about it, her family really weren't good at taking care of their cars.

Given that Santana's car had no radio she always played the same CD on the way to school, just so there was some noise. She's never realised before just how much she hated it. It was enormously refreshing to listen to some new music.

It took Santana about 10 minutes to get to the store. She usually made it in 5 - she must've subconsciously taken a longer route.

Santana had forgotten what her mom wanted, so sent her a quick text as she walked through the store. She considered texting her dad, and was trying to work out what time he'd be at work for when she felt her phone buzz.

_From: Momma Bear_

_Seriously? You can remember all those formulas but you forgot milk?_

Santana rolled her eyes and headed for the milk, feeling her phone buzz again in her pocket.

_From: Momma Bear_

_In case you didn't catch it the first time I texted you, we need milk. Oh and Paul wants some chocolate please._

Santana carried on walking as she was replying and bumped into a wall. She shook her head and continued on her mission to get milk.

_Sent:_

_Whateva. Wat choc does he want?_

Santana found the milk, grabbed it and went in search of chocolate. There was so much choice. She picked up the nearest one just as her phone buzzed again.

_From: Momma Bear_

_Anything, he's not picky._

Santana just took the one she was holding, went to the cash register and left the store. Walking through the parking lot she spotted a figure across the road jogging at a steady pace.

Santana watched them for a moment, then froze, suddenly recognising the person as the blonde cheerleader - Brittany. The girl seemed so focused, long slender legs pounding the sidewalk and shiny hair flying out behind her. She looked as though Santana could throw a rock at her and she wouldn't even notice. She certainly didn't spot Santana.

Santana didn't move again until she was out of sight.

_That_ was weird.

Santana was on autopilot going home. On arrival she put the milk in the fridge, threw the chocolate bar at Paul and gave her mom a goodnight kiss.

As Santana lay in bed she remembered how exhausted she was. Her mind was still racing though, so many questions going round in her head, questions about the girl.

Santana tossed restlessly for what felt like hours before finally feeling herself drifting off.

This year was off to one hell of a start.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N**

**I'm sorry it's taken me so long to update, I've been doing nothing but college work and things have been crazy lately but I managed to write this chapter, DarthVader'sApprentice got my ass into gear. I will not stop writing this story, I'm aiming to update at least once a month. **

**Thank you for the support, I love hearing what you have to say as well. **

**Also, there will be more Brittana interaction**** and some fluff ****in future chapters.**

* * *

The rest of her school week dragged on. It was the same routine over and over: go to school. Shower. Study. Eat dinner. Study. Sometimes Rachel would pop by to make sure Santana was doing something other than working and she'd make her watch a movie. Santana did appreciate it but she still felt like she was stuck somehow. Like she was trapped doing the same old thing over and over and she couldn't find her wait out.

It was a Friday evening and Santana was lying on her bed just relaxing and listening to the soft humming of her music, when she suddenly realised how slowly the week had gone by. She'd spent most of it trying to avoid eye contact with Brittany and refusing to even look in her direction. When Mercedes had chided her for being rude Santana had started grunting at Brittany in acknowledgement whenever Brittany said a friendly hello, which was every time the girl saw her. Santana had got to give her some credit for her unwavering persistence, but what the hell did she want from her?

Santana's musings were disrupted by her phone ringing. Santana rolled her eyes as soon as she recognised the ringtone to be from some musical. She would have hit ignore so that she could enjoy the rest of her evening in peace, but then realised that Rachel would probably show up at her house.

Santana answered the phone, but before she could even say anything she heard Rachel ask, "Santana, what are you doing?" Santana frowned. There wasn't anything accusatory in the way Rachel asked - it was said in the tone someone would use when they were making plans.

Santana looked around her room, "Uh, right now? I'm busy, it's kind of important Rache."

She heard Rachel sigh, "Doing what?" Okay. _This_ time it was accusatory.

Santana nearly face palmed at her own stupidity. When Rachel had found out about Santana's vow to her mother to cut down on her studying she'd be more than happy to support her, and had made sure to stay on top of Santana so that she wasn't working too much. So of course that excuse wasn't going to work for her any more.

Santana could practically feel Rachel growing impatient at the delay in her response. "I'm not studying or anything Rachel. I promise. I was just relaxing on my bed and listening to some music, I just didn't want to be disturbed."

Silence. Santana took the phone away from her ear and looked at it to make sure she hadn't disconnected. She hadn't, so why has Rachel stopped talking? "Hell-"

"Are you okay?" Rachel interrupted.

Santana felt herself panicking. Had she done something to make Rachel think she wasn't okay? What did Rachel know? The churning in her stomach got worse the longer she stayed quiet. She swore she could feel her heart pounding against her rib cage and her head was throbbing.

"Hellooooo?" she heard. Oh yeah. Rachel.

"Huh?" Santana asked dumbly, hoping Rachel would drop it.

"I said are you okay?"

"Uh, what makes you ask that?" Santana asked.

"I just thought you were sick or something. You sounded..." Rachel paused as if she was searching for the right word, "honest."

Santana closed her eyes and released a slow breath. Damn. She needed to stop that. She'd been freaking out a lot recently and she didn't know why. Well, she knew _why, _but she couldn't figure out why it was bothering her so much lately.

Before she could say anything else Rachel spoke again, "And the fact that you're actually just lying down, relaxing and listening to music. It isn't exactly something I can picture you doing. I guess I shouldn't be surprised really, you've actually been a little more pleasant to be around because your head isn't always in the books."

Santana huffed and rolled her eyes. Thankfully the churning in her stomach was starting to calm down. She felt both relief and annoyance wash over her and realised she was so ready for this conversation to be over.

"Was there something you wanted Berry?" Santana barked.

"Okay," Rachel paused "sometimes you're still not so pleasant."

Santana sighed. Sometimes Rachel needed a little push to get to the point, "Rachel! I swear I'm hanging up if you don't tell m-"

"No. Wait! Wait, wait. The reason I phoned was to see if you wanted to go over to Mercedes' house." Santana was just about to protest when Rachel's soft voice came through the speaker, "Look Santana, just hear me out before you say anything. Mercedes is having a little movie night and I want you to come, you need something like this. Sure, you haven't been working as much and that's great! I'm so happy, but you do need a change of scenery, it'll be nice for everyone as well. Please. You need to be somewhere that isn't your house or school otherwise you'll go crazy. You don't even have to stay long, I promise."

Santana stiffened. She'd never heard Rachel sound so desperate. She didn't like it. She felt that familiar hollow feeling at the pit of her stomach that she's been feeling a lot more recently. She was unintentionally stressing out people who cared about her and it made her feel so many different things at once; frustration. Guilt. Resentment. Pain. Anger. She had to focus on one feeling or she'd drown in the seething pool of her emotions. She decided to focus on anger. It was always anger.

"Look Rachel, it's really cute how you think being around you is somehow going to brighten up my world or some shit but I've been with you practically all week and I'm afraid that one day you might actually talk me to death with that enormous beak of yours." The moment it was out Santana was cursing herself. After all, she was the person Rachel came crying to when those asshole boys said nasty things about her personality and appearance. She knew the distress it caused Rachel, how insecure she was. She also knew how Rachel kept her head up high even though sometimes it stung. She'd only meant to vent her frustration a little, but Santana feared she may have crossed a line this time.

For the second time in there was silence on the other end of the line. Santana held her breath as she listened to Rachel inhale and exhale shakily. "I've got to go now, dad is calling me." Rachel sounded monotone and it scared the shit out of Santana.

"Wait, Rachel I didn't mea-" before Santana could even apologise Rachel had hung up on her.

Santana sat on her bed and looked blankly at her wall for a moment, the conversation she just had not quite sinking in. She stared down at her phone dumbly as her thumb hovered over the call button. She knew Rachel probably wouldn't pick up the phone after that but it still wouldn't stop her from trying. Santana gritted her teeth when it went to voicemail, she was still a little shaky from her little outburst.

She left a lame message asking Rachel to call her back, then hung up, frowning deeply. It seemed like she couldn't do anything right lately. It was weird how sometimes ignoring things made them easier to deal with, but then when she least expected it they come creeping up on her and make her act like a douche.

"Knock Knock." a familiar voice rang through the door. Santana nearly jumped. _Nearly._ She smiled to herself - she'd been getting better at being less spacey. Sure, she still spaced out a lot but she was a lot more aware of her surroundings now. Maybe Rachel was right and she really did need to get out more if not jumping when someone interrupted her thoughts made her smile. Her smile dropped when she remembered what had just happened with her. Santana felt so conflicted, wondering if the invitation was still open but not wanting to upset Rachel further. What if she wants some time away from her?

Santana heard knocking on her door, "Hey, Matilda?"

"Yeah?" Santana called out as she clambered off her bed and moved across the room, searching for her study books.

"Watcha doin'?" Paul sang, still outside her door. Santana loved how Paul respected her privacy; her mom normally just barged in whenever she was doing the laundry. Once Santana was tidying up her room with her headphones on, and hadn't heard her mom enter the room so when her mom had tapped her shoulder to get her attention to ask her if she needed one of her white shirts washed, Santana had jumped up and punched her mom in the boob with a shriek. Her mom hadn't been happy at the time and still teased Santana about it. Santana was scared and it had all happened so fast she didn't feel like there was any fault on her part.

"Just," Santana walked towards the door, opened it and continued her search for her books, "doing a little light reading." she answered distractedly. She missed the frown of Paul's face as she rifled through her work folder.

Oh. I see" Santana didn't seem to hear him and continued searching through her backpack.

"Bingo." She smiled as she found what she was looking for and pulled it out - her books and extra work sheets. Looking up, she noticed him still standing in the doorway, "Oh, sorry Paul. Did you need something?"

"No, I was just wondering what you were up to and if you wanted to watch a movie with me and your mom?" Paul grinned. Santana half expected him to make a comment about her studying. He kept glancing down at the books in her hand with a small but noticeable frown on his face, like he wanted to say something but was restraining himself. She knew that Paul didn't like confrontation so took a different approach to things. It was kind of refreshing sometimes.

Santana shuffled her feet awkwardly and looked down at her books. She didn't actually _need_ to read, she was pretty sure she had most of the notes memorised, she just needed something to do to distract her from things. Watching a film was something to do. Santana skewed her mouth as she thought about the pros and cons of going downstairs.

"Seriously Matilda, it's a film not rocket science." Paul smirked, folding his arms and leaning casually against the door frame.

Santana rolled her eyes and felt a small smile tug at the corner of her mouth. Paul had something about him that made her seemed to make her forget her problems. "What are you watching?" she asked as she dropped her books and sheets back into her backpack.

Paul's smirk morphed into a goofy grin, "Tangled."

Santana snorted, "For serious?" she asked disbelievingly.

Paul feigned hurt. "I'm being for cereal Matilda, Tangled is an intense movie." he deadpanned, slowly nodding.

Santana nearly rolled her eyes again but before she could she heard her phone chime. She noticed she still had the backpack in her hand and dropped it on her bed. "Where's my cell?" She asked Paul as she scanned her bed.

"Um. I dunno. Have you checked your sock?"

Santana paused and turned to face him, "What?" she asked incredulously

"Sometimes I find change in my socks." Paul replied a little sheepishly.

Santana looked blankly at him for a few seconds, "Why would you even put - you know what? Forget it. Never mind. I'll see if I'm up to watching the movie in a bit. Give me 5 minutes?"

"Sure." Paul flashed her one last grin and closed the door before leaving.

Santana's phone chimed again - alerting a text message. Santana listened closely for the sound and followed it into her back pocket. Rolling her eyes at herself she checked the message:

_From Wheezy:_

_Rache tell u bout the movie nyte my place?_

Santana jaw clenched at the sight of Rachel's name. Something annoyingly familiar latched onto her heart, weighing it down. Guilt. Again. She ground her teeth and sighed.

_Sent:_

_Yh she said sumthin bout it. I dunno 'cedes... kinda tired 2night._

Santana briefly wondered if Rachel would still be going to Mercedes' house after what happened, but her cell chimed again before she could give more thought to it:

_From Wheezy:_

_Girl_

Santana frowned at the message. That was all that was there. She waited a while for another message, thinking Mercedes sent that message too soon to elaborate what she was trying to say, but when another text was obviously not forthcoming she replied.

_Sent:_

_... yes?_

_From Wheezy:_

_Why am i not surprised ur not comin? Ur neva doin anythin with us anymore, it's frustrating. I swear if ur studying i'll burn ur books on monday_

Santana was in the middle of replying something she would probably regret when another alert came through.

_From Wheezy:_

_Neva mind, forget it_

Santana wouldn't be able to forget it now. The more she thought about what Mercedes had said the angrier she got - spiteful thoughts about the girl swam in her head. A cold voice spoke to her: who did _she _think she was? What kind of friend was she? Mercedes didn't have the right to be frustrated. Who was she? She meant nothing. She _was_ nothing.

The moment Santana's mind caught up with her thoughts she felt sick. What was she thinking? Mercedes was awesome, why the hell was she bad mouthing her like that? Well, bad... thinking her like that. Whatever the case, she shouldn't be thinking like that. Mercedes was a good friend. So was Rachel. Santana stood there for a while, motionless in her room, thinking about how unhappy she was making everyone - including herself. She needed to fix this; she hated feeling like a disappointment to people she cared about. That was decided then, she's going to do something.

_Sent:_

_Okay, gotta go now, see ya soon._

No reply came. She quickly grabbed a jacket from her closet and got her keys that she'd left in her backpack. Double checking that she had everything, she ran down the stairs with purpose.

"Santana, I've told you about running down the stairs like a madwoman!" came her mother's voice from the living room.

Santana jumped as she was slipping on her sneakers. She'd forgotten about her mom and Paul. "Sorry," she called back as sincerely as she could, "I'm going over to Mercedes house for the evening."

She listened out for her mother's response but heard only silence. The low murmuring of the television she had heard before she'd spoken had died down.

She grimaced slightly. The silence was suffocating. Santana was about to shout again but decided to just go into the room instead of having a conversation from the other side of the house.

Santana poked her head around the door frame, "I'm going over to Mercedes house for the evening." She repeated a little quicker. She was about to walk back towards the door when Paul's voice called for her, "Wait, come in here." Santana sighed but stepped fully into the room. She hadn't noticed before because she'd been rushing, but her mother and Paul were cuddling on the black leather sofa adjacent to the television.

Her mother sat up a little "I thought you were watching a movie with us?"

Santana's eyes flickered towards the television, which was displaying the menu screen for Tangled. "Uh, yeah I was but -" she didn't want to tell them she had to go and find Rachel because she'd been a douche, so she settled for: "Something came up. I don't know what time I'll be back but I'll text you later." she turned to leave.

_Again _she was stopped, "What, are you too old to give your Mami a goodbye kiss now?"

Santana crossed the room to give her mother a kiss on the cheek. Her mother snuggled further into Paul and let out a content sigh as Santana high was 5-ing Paul. She smiled at them both and turned to leave again.

"Ooooh, why are you in such a rush? Are there going to be any boys there?" Paul teased, wagging his eyebrows. Santana's smile faltered and she coughed awkwardly. She coughed long enough for colour to fill her cheeks from the lack of oxygen. Concerned glances were sent from where her mum and Paul was sitting, neither of them actually making an effort to get up.

"I'm okay, I'm fine." she managed to wheeze out, "Uh, but no. No boys." she couldn't make eye contact with anyone in the room so she was talking more to her feet. "Bye then" she mumbled and practically flew out the room. She rushed to her car - her mother had taken her to get it back from her father's place a couple of days before - and jumped in.

She felt jittery as she drove the 5 minutes to Mercedes' house. She didn't even notice the silence in the car because her head was going a mile a minute. What if Rachel wasn't there? What if she wanted space? What was she even going to _say _to Rachel? Santana filled her cheeks with air and slowly released a breath and tried to collect her thoughts.

She pulled up outside Mercedes' house and sat in her car for a while, trying to compose herself. She gave herself a little pep talk, took another deep breath, ran towards the house and confidently knocked on the door. It swung open and Santana froze.

What the hell was Brittany doing here?


End file.
